Watch Your Language – A Literal Rant As Tottenham Dream Of Hulk

Start of season at WHL [Jav The_DoC_66]Alan’s Season 2013-14 Diary

No apologies. Here is another one of my occasional forays into pedantry over the use of English and slipping standards.

Fri 23 August 2013

Steve Bruce. Using the vernacular in his interviews to promote his image of the common man, one of the people. Setting out his objective at Hull of getting an average of one point a match, he says “That is wor aim”. “That is wor challenge”. Can he really not pronounce the word “our”?

Talking of difficulties with the language, does anyone else think it’s a bit much that a year on, Mauricio Roberto Pochettino Trossero the Southampton manager is using an interpreter? At worst, it is a worrying sign of a lack of intellectual ability which will eventually show up elsewhere in his performance. At best it is a sign of disrespect to the club paying his wages and the country he is working in. Also a handy way of avoiding personal direct responses to probing questions. Either way, if I were a Southampton supporter, I would be concerned. He should work on it. Take a leaf out of Pellegrini’s Mourinho’s, AVB’s books, if he is bothered about earning real respect. Unless he has no intention of hanging around, that is. Trossero.

A Literal Disgrace

Sadly, another official sanction has been given to the deterioration of the English language. Thanks to Jennifer Selway for drawing our attention to it (Daily Express Sat Aug 17). She has spotted that in 2011, the Oxford English Dictionary slipped an additional definition of “literally” into its contents. The OED now says that the word can be used “for emphasis rather than being actually true”. She points out that this gives the green light to phrases such as “some taxpayers are literally in a different galaxy” (Nick Clegg) and that Wayne Rooney was “literally on fire” (Jamie Redknapp). Jennifer says that the OED has annoyed half the world (the decent, thoughtful half) by doing so. She acknowledges that the “get with it daddio” half tell you that words change their meaning all the time and you have to roll with it. You do but that does not make it right when the reason why they change their meaning is that more and more poorly educated people adopt the incorrect usage because they don’t know any better. Sadly, due to lack of competition, many of these people have managed to reach positions of influence in education, management and government. The incorrect definition becomes used almost universally, thanks to the ability of modern media to spread such fads like wildfire and so is then “allowed” as correct usage by arbiters like the OED. The logic seems to be “If that many people say it, it must be OK”. It’s up there with my pet hate phrase “a big ask”. I feel like I am standing on the sidelines, watching a preventable repeat of the decline and fall of another great civilisation.  It’s literally heart-breaking. Meanwhile, the new OED definition of “literally” is precisely the opposite of what it really means. It is saying that “literally” means “not literally”, thereby making the word meaningless. Literally meaningless.

How things have changed! The Grauniad maintains its historical standards. Having allowed personal interest cases to dominate its front pages, it has a 2 page spread saying that 100 different player nationalities will have been represented in the Premier League when Fulham’s Venezuelan defender makes his debut. Sky Sports news delights in pointing out that their spectacular error in saying that there are no Uruguayans.  Suarez anyone?

Mon 26 August.

Top of the league Ma! What I call equal first (6 points from 6) but officially 3rd on goal difference. I’ll take that next May, thanks very much. It may be a Bank Holiday but the transfer rumours are still buzzing. Such fun. It’s incredible! Sky suggests Spurs may be in for Hulk with a £30 million bid. If we get him too, it won’t just be like watching Brazil; we will be watching Brazil! They also say that Arsenal may be favourite to sneak Rooney out from under Chelsea’s nose. Now that would wipe that smug grin off the Happy One’s face. That would make the little man appear more like one of the other seven dwarves, say Grumpy. Never, ever Dopey of course, or Bashful for that matter.

Arsene Wenger pulls his irons out of the fire yet again. Crisis what Crisis? All set up nicely for the North London derby.

Oh-congratulations to Mark Hughes, first win as a manager since March 2012, I think. That should shut the doubters up then. Extra special congratulations to Cardiff. They really showed Man City in their first game back in the top tier.

Man Utd vs. Chelsea tonight. Juicy? Disappointing really.