There have been a few sociopathic Tottenham supporters who have suggested our final-day victory over Everton was measured and controlled, bereft of tension.
The odds were stacked in the Lilywhites' favour. Needing just a point against a out-of-sorts Toffees side playing for very little, the number crunchers backed Roberto De Zerbi's side to avoid the most humiliating of fates.
But it was this apparent likelihood that rendered the build-up all the more unbearable. When rival-supporting friends had asked me for the 790th time for my opinion of our potential plight, they assured me that we'd "be alright". I remained uneasy.
It genuinely wasn't until Antonín Kinsky made up for some questionable positioning with an outstanding save to deny Tyrique George when I started to breathe a little easier. That was deep into second-half stoppage time. By that point, there were no more nails left to bite. My sweat glands had worked overtime without pay.
It was an experience I wouldn't recommend to anyone. I'm not even sure if that overwhelming sense of relief at full-time made it worthwhile. Still, at least we felt something.
Lilywhite icons were subject to torture, too.
'Anxious and nervous' Sonny desperate Spurs don't endure that again
Son Heung-min was a nervous wreck as his former club attempted to preserve their Premier League status. The South Korean superstar, a Tottenham hero, left north London last summer in favour of Los Angeles, but has nonetheless kept a close eye on events at his long-time home.
Speaking after survival was confirmed thanks to João Palhinha's confusingly-awarded goal, Son discussed his emotions throughout the day: "Watching the game, I was just as anxious and nervous as if I were out there playing on the pitch myself. When Everton got the ball, I would start shaking."
Didn't we all, Sonny? Although it's odd for a professional athlete to place watching and competing on the same plane. The vast majority detest the former but relish the latter.
"It's a team I have a lot of affection for. It was emotionally difficult watching throughout this season. I often found myself wondering if I had left [the team] too early. I hope they can deliver a much better and more comfortable season to the fans next year," he added (via The Spurs Express on X).
I'd stick my neck out and say we wouldn't be in such dire straits if Son Heung-min at his ruthless apex was still defying advanced goalscoring metrics in N17, but the time was certainly right for the forward to move on last summer.
Curiously, Son can't buy a goal in MLS this year, having stuck nine times in 10 games last season. He's goalless through 13 outings in 2026, but does have nine assists for LAFC, who sit fifth in the Western Conference at the mid-season break.
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