The latest rumour regarding Harry Kane has him going to PSG in return for Xavi Simons, who is set to return to the French club after a season at PSV Eindhoven.
If there was ever a more complicated, convoluted rumour with more holes than Spurs defence last season, this is it.
In theory, the rumour sounds incredible.
Simons, who will return to PSG after they activated a £5 million buy-back clause, is a superb 20-year-old talent who played 49 times for PSV, scoring 19 times and adding nine assists. He made his Dutch national team debut against the United States in the World Cup.
According to DiMarzio, whose rumours also tend to be holy (and not the religious type), Simons could be offered as part of a swap transfer, with Kane heading the other way.
However, PSG has no intention of permanently offloading its elite young talent.
Instead, they are keen on loaning Simons, with RB Leipzig the frontrunner to temporarily land the attacking midfielder.
Even if Simons is for sale, which he’s not, PSG must convince him that Tottenham, a side with no forthcoming European football, is best for his career path.
Good luck with that one.
Meanwhile, Kane isn’t exactly over the moon about the prospect of being sold to PSG.
Suiting up for the German champions is one thing, but signing on the dotted line for the French champions is another matter entirely.
Kane would feel unsatisfied, even listless, while playing in Ligue 1, an inferior domestic league that pales in comparison to the Bundesliga, let alone the top flight.
In addition, Kane has given Bayern Munich verbal assurances. And despite the recent controversy enveloping him, the England captain is a man of his word.
Finally, Spurs will not be interested in borrowing Simons, especially with the club’s franchise player going the other way.
Unless there’s a guaranteed purchase option, Daniel Levy will be less interested in loaning Simons than selling Kane to Bayern for under €100 million.
And then there’s the net price tag to consider.
How much would PSG offer Tottenham for Kane with Simons London-bound? Simons’ valuation on transfermarkt is €40 million. In reality, he’s worth about €60 million.
So Spurs would expect to receive Simons and about €60 million (give or take) for Kane, another facet of the prospective deal that falls under the improbable category. Add all the unfeasible aspects of this rumour, and you have a deal bordering on the impossible.