Words On The Predictable Nature Of Tottenham Hotspur

Tottenham Hotspur fell again in predictable style in the north London derby.

I’ve decided that ‘Predictable’ will be my word of the day because Tottenham Hotspur is just that.

Predictably stuttering and failing ownership providing a lack of necessary signings to their managerial team creates a hilariously predictable manager and tactical layout.

A back 3 or 5, a couple of centre mids, and three forwards. It’s all up for debate as to what the formation or tactics are once the jogging about, and sideways passing commences. Eric Dier will get the ball and belt it aimlessly toward Harry Kane or Dejan Kulusevski. Heung-Min Son will run around and… stand-off everyone and everything.

Ryan Sessegnon will delay his runs until they’re entirely irrelevant to make. Matt Doherty will bellow towards one of the two identical centre mids available to receive the ball but will ultimately wait a few minutes as Pierre Emile Hojbjerg turns his whole body towards the wing-back and powers up his right leg to kick the ball somewhere towards a ball boy 8 yards behind the Irishman’s position.

This is Tottenham Hotspur. It’s entirely predictable, and it’s rigid in its entirety.

Antonio Conte will wait until the 70th minute, or thereabouts, to make a substitution that does little, because the system remains.

Will Pape Sarr come off for Oliver Skipp, or will Sessegnon come off for Ivan Perisic? Who actually cares? The idea remains the same. The sideways, backward, and sideways football remains.

Tottenham is defeated and burned out. The ideas aren’t there. The creativity is that of a grayscale palette, and the hunger and fight mirrors mine after 4 pints of beer and a long day out.

Sure, I could write about sacking Conte. I could make a few suggestions regarding the under-experienced coaches a club as Tottenham Hotspur deserves under ENIC.

However, I can’t be bothered. Daniel Levy, what an incredible job of this you’ve done. 22 years at the helm, and the only footballing successes you’ve had of it are a few flukes provided by managers performing miracles.

The money came from Sky and then BT. It came from a manager who had been relegated a few times, pulling off absurd turnarounds in a relegation-fighting team 13 years ago. It’s not from your entrepreneurial nature or your boards. It’s not from your incredible timing when sacking managers at half-time after selling their key players and replacing them with young, unproven names.

Do whatever you feel will work, which the whole football world knows, and, therefore, won’t. Sack another manager and throw some more money down the drain. Give yourself another raise for all the self-created embarrassment, and make sure to get those articles out there of Spurs chasing after Neymar Jnr when it’s time for those season ticket renewals at an even earlier date than last season.

A proper club would’ve ensured that Antonio Conte could at least build a team capable of pulling off his previously successful tactics. A real, competitive club would’ve already acted in the transfer market, which has been open for weeks.

Alas, the highest-paying fans in the league shall continue to suffer.