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Three Tottenham players I wouldn’t want to be quarantined with

By Gary Pearson

LEIPZIG, GERMANY - MARCH 10: (BILD ZEITUNG OUT) Serge Aurier of Tottenham Hotspur looks on during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 second leg match between RB Leipzig and Tottenham Hotspur at Red Bull Arena on March 10, 2020 in Leipzig, Germany. (Photo by Roland Krivec/DeFodi Images via Getty Images)
LEIPZIG, GERMANY - MARCH 10: (BILD ZEITUNG OUT) Serge Aurier of Tottenham Hotspur looks on during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 second leg match between RB Leipzig and Tottenham Hotspur at Red Bull Arena on March 10, 2020 in Leipzig, Germany. (Photo by Roland Krivec/DeFodi Images via Getty Images) /
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As Britons enter their second week of a country-wide lockdown, I start to think of the three Tottenham players I wouldn’t want to be quarantined with. 

It’s not that I have anything against these players, but the below trifecta are in the relegation zone of those I’d like to be quarantined with. With the possible exception of the player atop the dubious rankings below, I’m sure they’re upstanding fellas.

3. Lucas Moura

The Brazilian is passionate, hardworking and devoted entirely to Tottenham’s cause. Rumours of the player’s desire to eventually return home and play for Sao Paulo have nothing to do with not wanting him as a lockdown roommate. We are, however, from entirely different walks of life. Moura, a devout Catholic, unremittingly puts religion first. While I have nothing whatsoever against pious people, it’s a way of life completely incongruous to my own. I’m sure we have many things in common, and I would love to learn Portuguese but I believe our two worlds wouldn’t intermesh harmoniously.

2. Tanguy Ndombele

Simply put, Tanguy isn’t exactly the most fluent of English speakers. He’s trying his utmost to learn and I have no doubt will eventually speak the language better than some born and raised in England. But for now I can’t see the point of being locked away with someone I can’t communicate with. Too much work if you ask me. If, however, he were to come with fully functioning subtitles, akin to a Netflix foreign film, I might reconsider.

1. Serge Aurier

It’s unbecoming and unfair to indefinitely judge someone based on historic indiscretions or a rap sheet from a bygone time. Aurier has made his fair share of life mistakes, most of which occurred during his time in France with PSG. And while no lingering feelings of acrimony toward the Ivorian persist, I wouldn’t want to share tight confines with him during a lockdown.

While I harbour no ill-will toward his past transgressions, I’m still annoyed about his erratic behaviour on the pitch that has directly led to such deep and irreversible melancholy.

Who are the three Tottenham players you wouldn’t want to be quarantined with?

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