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Tottenham: Is Mauricio Pochettino Sexy Enough?

By Rucker Haringey

Jul 27, 2015; Denver, CO, USA; Tottenham Hotspur head coach Mauricio Pochettino speaks during an All-Star press conference at Grand Hyatt. Mandatory Credit: Shanna Lockwood-USA TODAY Sports
Jul 27, 2015; Denver, CO, USA; Tottenham Hotspur head coach Mauricio Pochettino speaks during an All-Star press conference at Grand Hyatt. Mandatory Credit: Shanna Lockwood-USA TODAY Sports /
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Yesterday the Mirror quoted Mauricio Pochettino as saying that the search for the right striker was like the search for the perfect woman. Our manager suggested that while there are lots of women, you only love one.

The idea is that Tottenham’s search for a striker is much the same. There are plenty of nines in the sea, but only one No. 9 who is a perfect ten for Spurs. The real question is this: is Pochettino sexy enough to land his dream striker?

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Presumably the object of Poch’s affections is West Brom striker Saido Berahino. Allegedly Tottenham has made three bids for the young Englishman but each has been publicly rebuffed by their chairman Jeremy Peace. Whether the love of Poch’s tactical life is Berahino, Charlie Austin or whomever we need to try to understand our manager’s soccer sex appeal.

As a man I’ll be bold and say it. Mauricio Pochettino is a sexy manager.

He preaches an offensive style that is predicated on the high press and is designed to lead to a variety of scoring opportunities. To me, that’s the soccer equivalent of prodigious cleavage and a body that won’t quit. His high press is the equivalent of being the hottest girl in the bar with a trust fund to match.

Mauricio Pochettino [Photo: Alan Hill]
Poch has got back  [Photo: Alan Hill] /

Critics may point to the amount of running and effort required to play in his system or the potential to be isolated up top as Poch’s tragic flaws. Think of them as small blips like a woman who idolizes her father or asks you too often if she looks pretty.

You can get over this if the girl is attractive enough and potential strikers will do the same with Poch.

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So where does this leave us? The window will shut in five short days so it’s almost closing time at the bar and we haven’t found a striker to bring home.

I think this is more about refusing to bring home the wrong girl and getting stuck in a dead end long term relationship than Mauricio not having the looks or the game to close the deal. I know money is an issue here too but Levy backs Poch to be able to reel in all but the ultra wealthy.

If we don’t end up with a prominent striker purchase during this window it won’t be because Poch isn’t sexy or that he hasn’t spent enough time in the bar checking out the talent. If we roll into September with Harry Kane and a minor back up then it’s because we are being selective. We won’t be jumping on to bed with just any number nine. The striker we buy has to be a perfect ten.

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