Letter to Harry Kane: Bayern doesn’t deserve you, stay at Tottenham

While Harry Kane has already approved a move to Bayern Munich, there’s still time to convince him to stay, which is what this letter is intended to do. 

First, let me say that I don’t have delusions of grandeur, understanding wholeheartedly that Spurs’ most loyal subject and greatest ever player will never read this article.

Nonetheless, getting this off my chest has made me feel immeasurably better, even if it falls on deaf ears.

Bayern Munich doesn’t deserve you. Repeated bids have undercut your value, not just marginally but by tens of millions of pounds.

Bayern’s grossly subpar, undervalued bids are tantamount to a mule showing up to make a deal with Pablo Escobar hundreds of pounds light.

Disrespectful doesn’t start to cover it.

You know your worth, and it unequivocally exceeds £100 million, at least double. While your chairman has made more mistakes than Escobar during his ignominious downfall, he is right about one thing.

You are not just a superstar but a commodity. You are Tottenham’s lifeline, all of its internal organs. Pinpointing a dollar value on your worth is impossible.

It’s as if Mastercard’s advertising slogan, “There are some things money can’t buy,” was designed for you.

You’re priceless; anyone who understands what you’ve sacrificed for your club will concur.

You’ve been forced to sit idly by watching repetitively chronic, egregious decisions by the chairman and his cronies.

You’ve endured six different managers, eight if you include Ryan Mason’s two brief, force-fed stints. You’ve been underpaid for the lion’s share of your 10 dominant years in the first team. And you’re still being grossly underpaid.

Daniel Levy is acutely aware of that, one of the reasons he’s finally pulling out all the stops to keep you, offering £400,000 weekly plus post-career assurances.

But better late than never, right?

While it’s true Bayern will match that salary, even better it slightly, they can’t even be bothered to submit a bid that comes close to your market value. If they really value you, they certainly aren’t showing it.

You’ve fought for Tottenham and sacrificed for the club

You have the most Tottenham goals. Ever. And you’re 48 strikes away from pipping Alan Shearer as the Premier League’s all-time top goalscorer. Imagine when you’ve eclipsed his goal total with one club.

How satisfying that priceless moment will be, and, if you stay, it’s less than two years away.

Tottenham through and through, you lead on and off the pitch and mentor youngsters, repeatedly putting on a brave face when all hope is lost.

You’ve fought for Tottenham, arguably more than anyone else in the club’s history, and, maybe most importantly, you’re one of our own.

You have every right to want something different, to fulfil a lifelong dream of winning something, anything.

There will always be naysayers and haters, even from those who claim they support Tottenham. But don’t listen to them. You deserve better; you deserve to win a trophy at your club.

Cue the Ange Postecoglou revolution.

Now is not the time to leave.

Finally, a manager who values and adores attacking football has arrived. No more sitting back and absorbing relentless pressure; no more battening down the chances and hoping to score on the one counter-attack that falls to you.

Finally, you can play football. Imagine scoring more than Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street. Imagine scoring more than Erling Haaland, which you almost accomplished on a team that prioritized dropping back and taking cover.

Under Ange, you’ll touch the ball more than a dozen times a match.

And you have like-minded players in your midst that can help amplify your success. Most importantly, they can help you win a trophy.

Winning a trophy at Tottenham compared to Bayern

Nobody associated with Tottenham should ever begrudge you going to Bayern if that’s what you want. We should wish you well and support you when you win a bazillion Bundesliga titles.

But you can’t tell me that winning a trophy with Bayern, who’ve won a ludicrous 11 consecutive Bundesliga titles, will bring you more joy than lifting a single trophy with Tottenham.

Imagine leaving to learn the art of bratwurst making and seeing your club, Tottenham, win a trophy without you leading the line. That is an inconceivable thought, a grotesque possibility.

But, indeed, it is possible. Imagine how you would feel if that happened.

Despite all the malarky and ineptitude from the higher-ups over the years, you’ve remained steadfast, a consummate professional.

Who can blame you for seeking success, for having a morsel of ambition?

It’s not like you haven’t given every ounce of blood and sweat to Tottenham. Anyone who doesn’t think so has either lost grip of reality or has overindulged on a mind-altering substance.

We implore you to stay for at least one more season, to give Ange-ball a chance, to see what playing with James Maddison at club level is like, and to return the club you adore to the glorious days of yesteryear.

You have nothing to prove to anyone at Tottenham Hotspur Football Club or beyond, and you have nothing to prove to yourself.

But wouldn’t it be something to not only become the Premier League’s all-time scorer while still plying your trade with Tottenham but also culminating your career, immortalizing your legend by lifting at least one trophy at the club you’ve sacrificed everything for, devoted everything to.

The ball is at your feet, Harry. Whether you go to Bayern or stay put in north London, one thing is for sure: You’ll forever be venerated on the right side of north London.