The Tottenham transfer rumour that will not fade quietly into the night

The Harry Kane transfer saga will not fade quietly into the night, with the latest supposed update turning out to be nothing more than regurgitation, a mere replica of previous news.

Sky Sports Germany’s Florian Plettenberg is all over the Kane story, much like my baby’s doo-doo when he consumed too much milk.

But the latest update is no update at all.

Bayern Munich made an initial bid of €70 million, which Tottenham’s top brass should perceive as a hardcore open-hand slap to the face.

That bid was obviously rejected as fast as one of Fabrizio Romano’s transfer updates was retweeted. More importantly, an official bid means the clubs must be in some dialogue, if only superficially.

Plettenberg says a new offer is still planned.

That’s not surprising, considering their initial lowball bid. And while a follow-up bid is expected, it’s doubtful Munich will pony up and pay what it will cost to turn Daniel Levy’s head.

For that to happen, the German champions must submit a bid of at least €100 million. Even that amount would probably only capture Levy’s attention briefly. By now, Bayern Munich must be acutely aware of what it is going to take for Levy to pull the trigger on a Kane transfer.

It will take a €110 or €120 million bid to move the needle on this standstill.

Otherwise, Munich should move on to their backup forward target, potentially Eintracht Frankfurt’s Randal Kolo Muani.

The other bit of the “breaking news” that is old news is Kane’s amenability to the prospective transfer. Yes, Kane has given Bayern and Thomas Tuchel the green light.

But as mentioned countless times, Kane is not in the driver’s seat, merely a passenger in the boot, hoping his voice is heard over the blaring sound system.

The only newsworthy aspect of the tweet is that longtime Bayern Munich Chairman of Executive Board, Karl-Heinz “Kalle” Rummenigge, has amped up his involvement in the process.

But that doesn’t mean a thing unless he opens Bayern’s chequebook and makes a fair and equitable offer, which the opening bid fell hopelessly, even embarrassingly, short on.

So let’s see whether Rummenigge has the kahunas to pay Kane’s worth, as it’s the only way this rumour manifests into anything more.

Until then, it might be a good idea to scroll through your Twitter timeline until the platform informs you that your limit has been exceeded (thanks for nothing, Elon). At least that will prevent you, albeit temporarily, from seeing a collection of false updates.