No credibility in rumoured Manchester United and Tottenham swap deal

Since Sky Sports’ sensationalist report of Harry Kane’s reported imminent summer departure from Tottenham, a number of outrageous rumours have surfaced. 

This one, via the Express, discusses the possibility of Harry Kane going to Manchester United in return for Juan Mata and Anthony Martial. If this abominable excuse for a transfer comes to fruition, Daniel Levy truly has lost his mind.

The 33-year-old Mata, who is unable to crack United’s starting 11, is at best a fringe player. Not only that, but the elder statesman’s best days are long gone. Why in the world would Tottenham acquire a weathered veteran who cannot contribute anymore at an elite level in return for the world’s most prized asset?

The farcical side to this rumour doesn’t end there. Martial plays second fiddle to Marcus Rashford, Edinson Cavani and Mason Greenwood, which is why United want to do away with their deadwood. Even considering this transfer would be a mistake more ludicrous and egregious than the club’s unilateral decision to commit to the scandalous Super League.

If you think protests were disruptive after the Super League debacle, wait to see what they would manifest into if this inconceivable transfer ever saw the light of day. North London would be turned over and riot police would inevitably be forced to interject.

We’re well and truly on the verge of silly season, the off-season period defined by an abundance of outlandish transfer rumours more unrealistic than the return of the Super League.

If Kane leaves Tottenham, Levy and company better receive at least £125 million or a couple of invaluable assets plus a wad of cash. Martial and Mata hardly qualify as invaluable, with the former ensnared in a perpetual regression and the other closer to retirement than his prime.