Three things I didn’t think I’d miss about Tottenham

Tottenham, Jose Mourinho (Photo by Ronny Hartmann / AFP) (Photo by RONNY HARTMANN/AFP via Getty Images)
Tottenham, Jose Mourinho (Photo by Ronny Hartmann / AFP) (Photo by RONNY HARTMANN/AFP via Getty Images) /

There are many things I miss during this forced hiatus, but I didn’t expect to yearn for these three happenings endemic to Tottenham Hotspur.  

3. Jose Mourinho telling everyone one to “stay calm”

How many times have we seen Jose Mourinho stride purposefully to the touch-line to utter the words “stay calm” loudly, repeatedly and with magnanimous assurance.

Usually under circumstances where Tottenham certainly needed to chill out, Mourinho’s reinforcing words had a success rate of hitting 21 consecutively in a game of Black Jack. But at least he tried, repeatedly attempting to usher a sense of composure over his side. Oftentimes it had the opposite impact, making Tottenham more panicked, totally stress-stricken.

2. Witnessing Mourinho once again line up with five across the back

Like a child meeting his new puppy for the fist time, I feverishly anticipated Tottenham’s announcement of the first 11 prior to kickoff. That anticipation was too often eviscerated, immediately scuppered, when I realized Mourinho had once again decided to line up with a back five. For Tottenham, it’s a system as effective and useful as white crayon on the same coloured canvass.

Please Jose, if you take anything away from this forced suspension, let it be to never employ a back five again. But I’m a glutton for punishment, and still, no matter how often I’m duped by Mourinho, miss the first team being announced. It gives me shivers, even if Mourinho spoiled the moment by employing a system more conservative than a devout Mormon.

Next. How Luis Campos could transform Tottenham. dark

1. Serge Aurier going medieval on opposition

Good old Serge is always up for a slide tackle taken right out of the medieval period. Studs up and as lethal as Jason Statham in pretty much each one of his movies, Serge’s tackles – whether legal or downright criminal – brought a sadistic type of joy to my life. Except, of course, when he decided to lunge in anywhere near the  box.