Tottenham Players Take Their Spurs Form Into World Cup
By Alan Hill
Over the past days it is clear that the Tottenham players have taken their Spurs form with them to the World Cup in Brazil.
Alan’s 2014 Summer Diary No: 11
Monday 16 June
Every time I think that I have seen the best article I am ever going to read on sport by Simon Barnes in the Times he surpasses it with another one. If you can get hold of today’s edition, I recommend his piece on why he is one of Sepp Blatter’ racists. The controversial title sucks you in and by the end of the article I’m sure you’ll be saying “Well said, me too.”
Tuesday 17 June
Jan Vertonghen at left back for Belgium takes his Spurs form into the World Cup. He looks about as comfortable at left back as Wayne Rooney does for England. Gives away a penalty and gets a booking dragging back the Algerian forward – “sleepy, lazy, ball watching” – says Andy Townsend. “He’s good going forward but I’ve seen him do that before, last season.”
Nabil Bentaleb then gets booked on the half hour for elbowing a Belgian, Spurs’ team mate Mousa Dembele, in the neck. Nacer Chadli too in his Tottenham form. Gets a golden chance late in the first half and weakly rolls it along the floor to the goalkeeper.
You know the phrase, “It’s just like watching Brazil?” This is “It’s just like watching Tottenham”. Ha, I wrote the above not knowing that Logan, my editor was simultaneously writing a report on the Belgium game – and he came to the same conclusion completely independently! [Ed: they say great minds think alike….]
The excellent standard couldn’t last forever. We have now had Iran and Brazil in nil – nils. Then Tuesday night’s game between Russia and Korea was going that way for 70 minutes, so provided plenty of opportunity for us juveniles who like to have politically incorrect fun with players’ names. Jurgen Klinsmann had already bent over backwards to accommodate the Bender twins but could not manage it due to injury, (to the groin presumably). The highlight for me up to now was when Holland put a Lens on to help out a guy called Blind in the romp against Spain.
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Tonight Russia has Shatov starring for them and a Zhirkov (sounds like Jerk off). Shatov couldn’t get his shot off but slid his Kokorin. Korea had two Parks on the bench that couldn’t get on the park to join the Park that was already on the pitch from the start. If they wanted to park the bus, shouldn’t be a problem…Kwak had to duck when the ball flashed past the bench. You just had to say “Koo” at the sight of Yun Sukyoung, (not appropriate behaviour, surely?). There I was hoping to be able to say that at least Kim Younggwon in the end when sure enough Igor in the Russian goal throws the ball in to his own net. Then the commentator said that Capello took Shatov but I didn’t think he was that bad. The substitute gets the equaliser though.
Wednesday 18 June
A return to form at the World Cup with more great goals. Plucky Australia give Holland a real run for their money. A classic Robben goal, followed a minute later by arguably the best goal of the tournament yet from Tim Cahill, a brilliant left-footed volley. Another goal from Robin van Persie and a 3 – 2 victory. Chile comfortably beat Spain, with Casillas continuing his wobbly form from the first game and they are out! 4 goals from Croatia, with Gordon Strachan waxing lyrical about Luka Modric’s quality against Cameroon who collapse after a pointless sending off. After the 4th goal Benoit Assou-Ekotto head butts a team mate, maintaining the dodgy form of Spurs players at the tournament.
During the Chile game I was keeping my nephew in touch with texts as he was at a meeting in the City with no access to TV.
At 8.27pm I texted “Chile 1 Spain 0. Another great goal. Andre Agassi, their coach very happy on the touchline.” I had pointed out the resemblance to the wife during the first game. 4 hours later as Adrian Chiles was signing off the ITV coverage with a couple of funny snippets, he said that it had been bothering him who the coach reminded him of all World Cup and then put up lookey-likey pictures of Sampaoli and Agassi. I wonder if the text and pic I sent was forwarded on and did the rounds to be picked up by ITV researchers?
Thursday 19 June
Yids victory
Sky Sports News announces that the Metropolitan Police have declared that they will no longer prosecute Spurs fans for chanting “Yids”. About time. I have voiced my views about this in several articles in the past and said the police had it all wrong and didn’t have a leg to stand on. Just got to say I told you so. Interesting that they chose the eve of England’s most important game to sneak the news out, no doubt hoping not to draw attention to their climb down. I guess it’s time to forgive and forget, although there must be those who may be tempted to sue and seek the head of the misguided idiot responsible for pursuing the issue in the first place. Best example of the police wasting their own time I have ever seen.
The crunch has arrived. I’m not feeling lucky but will be cheering England on. Flying the flag, even from the car…