With only days to go to the first game in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, England fans have you everything you’ll need for the next four weeks? Here’s a World Cup checklist.
England Fans – Are you ready?
Where’s me shirt?
(I bet there are at least three people out there that remember that catchphrase from the Clitheroe Kid radio show from the 60s, when we last won the thing.)
Seriously, has anyone else noticed the lack of England souvenir clothing available in the shops? I don’t mean the official replica players shirts, I mean the polo shirts, track suits and shorts, both official and unofficial that swamped the market for previous tournaments. You know, the ones that we old men and fatties can just about get away with wearing.
Even M&S who make the players’ suits don’t have all the other gear that they had previously. Most supermarkets have their own shoddy round neck Brazil t-shirts but nothing remotely decent. Perhaps they haven’t bothered because they had so much England gear left over after our early exit from South Africa. I’m glad I’ve held on to my collection. Anyone got a 2014 stencil?
England at No. 10
England have moved up in the FIFA World rankings to number 10. Sounds good but of course Top 10 wouldn’t get us to the quarter finals of the World Cup. We haven’t looked like World beaters in the build-up, so perhaps that’s fair enough.
Sometimes the build-up is more fun than the tournament. I am really revelling in it now. Hopefully this World Cup checklist will help you prepare if you are falling behind with days to go.
Stay at home England Fan’s World Cup Checklist
England clothing – check (see above)
England/Rio plastic football for lounge and garden – check
World Cup magazines – check
Glossy wall and fridge posters with dates, times of games and TV channel – check
Free space on Sky Box (although all Live matches are on BBC or ITV) – check
Copious supplies of chilled liquid refreshment
Snacks of your choice (recommend crisps, Pringles, sausage rolls, cocktail sausages, pizza, smoked salmon slices…if this makes you feel guilty check out Walker’s new baked crisps with 70% less fat, I prefer them to the originals, coke and sprite zeros which are sugar free and just as tasty) – check
EA Sports FIFA World Cup 2014 & previous tournaments for good measure – check
England merchandise – flag essential – check
EA Gareth Southgate penalty shades from Euro ’96 – check
An understanding partner – check (if you don’t have one of these, Sky multi-room is essential)
A lucky England team that reaches at least the semi-final – to be confirmed
An ability to cope with disappointment and enjoy the performances of other teams – being a Spurs fan helps here – check
Leather Lay z Boy recliner chairs as in Friends – check
For real completest techie anoraks with a few quid to spare – a discreet hard drive, fast broadband internet TV connection with Freeview that you can take into the garden if the weather is good. Record the whole thing, yep every match for posterity. I’ve been doing it with Match of the Day for years! – check
Have I missed anything?
[Ed: Remember to check HotspurHQ for latest thoughts and comments on the World Cup]